“A friend in need is a friend indeed.”

I’m gaining new appreciation for this old adage. “Need” wrote its name across my heart weeks ago and my friends rose to the occasion. I wasn’t surprised. They are an amazing group of wise, compassionate and praying women. Each one responded based on the uniqueness of our bond. They each took their personality and strengths and placed them beneath my burden.

Although some of my friends don’t know each other, as God stirred each heart, they unknowingly worked together to join His activity in my life. As a result, I’ve seen at least five helpful ways to respond to a friend in need. See if you see yourself or a friend in any of these examples:

The Empathizer:  When you consider what you’re going through, they’ve been there and back. They share from their pile of regrets and the wealth of what they’ve learned. (See 2 Corinthians 1:3-5)

The Intercessor:  They pray over every detail and encourage you with an “Amen.” Even, if you’re not up to sharing the details, they pray anyway, knowing God is fully informed. (See James 5:16)

The Intuitive: Even before we say “ouch” they know we’re in pain. They carefully inquire. Then they remain approachable, ready to listen when we’re ready to talk. (See Galatians 6:2)

The Nurturer:  They keep a close watch on a friend’s well-being. If you haven’t eaten, rested or laughed in a while, once they are on the scene, that’s about to change. (See Romans 12:10)

The Sage:  They listen intently and the moment they open their mouth, something insightful gets our attention. Their advice is biblically sound; however, they don’t sound like a know-it-all. (See Proverbs 16:21)

I’m grateful for my friends and the ways they rally around my life. Is there another helpful response you’d add to this list?

What do you do when a friend is in need?

It is a privilege and calling in being called friend.  What I choose to give and the way I choose to give it matters. The details of a friend’s life are seen as sacred threads of their story instead of juicy tidbits for the rumor mill. Unless someone’s safety is at risk, even sharing an unauthorized prayer request can violate a friend’s trust.

But treasured friendships provide a safe place for us to vent, grow and heal.

In fact, my closest friends are helpful in multiple ways. A nurturer may stop by for a visit and become a sage, leaving much-needed wisdom before they go. An empathizer may share their sense of humor and end our conversation with a prayer. Because…

A friend loves at all times. – Proverbs 17:17 NIV

All times includes all kinds of life’s situations, whether it’s a celebration or a crisis, from the simple to the complex. Each situation may draw a friend’s support but it may also serve as a filter. Some friends aren’t able to spring into action “at all times.” Their circumstances or perspectives may impair their ability to respond — or to respond well.

Then we may encounter a not-so-friendly reality. If an interaction between friends results in distance, harsh judgements or heated arguments, the desire to help (or be helped) becomes a disaster.

Then it’s our turn to decide if we’ll be the kind of friend who extends understanding and grace. I receive greater clarity as I seek God about what went wrong and the right way to move forward. He is the Friend who holds our life and times in His hand. As we respond to Him, we find hope for the heart and joy to the soul.