Initially, Brady and I didn’t realize the value of premarital counseling. But my pastor wouldn’t marry us without it. He was not impressed by our several years of dating or our being from the same hometown.

Pastor Booth gave us a bible study entitled Your Marriage Can Be Beautiful. He assured us it would be time well spent. It may be out of print by now. It seemed outdated when I read it — at first.

I remember thinking, of course our marriage will be beautiful, we are in love. Then 1 Corinthians 13:3-5 appeared:

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. (NLT)

Although we were deeply committed, I didn’t consider how much patience, kindness, sacrifice and forgiveness it would take for our marriage to be beautiful.

When you consider who you love, does this list appear in your heart?

Sometimes, my ability to love depends on how much I’ve received love from those around me. I know it’s not the biblical approach, but at times it’s my heart’s position.

Until I see the position of God’s heart.

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. – Romans 5:8 NLT

A few chapters into our premarital guide, I discovered love is a choice far more than a feeling. It’s beauty is rooted in a Love that yearns for each of us — not because we’ve earned it, but because of who He is.

You may or may not be married, but how much Love do you need to love?

A deepening relationship with the Lord is my only hope. He shapes my heart for my marriage and my other relationships. Otherwise, I come up empty when relationships come up short. Then life feels far from beautiful.

But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. – 1 John 4:1 NLT

This post is part of my "Lessons I've Learned About Life (so far)" series for the #write31days challenge. To find out more start here.