What do you do when you’re afraid? I tend to flee. In my haste, sometimes I fall. 

Once, I landed in a state of emotional upheaval.  Another time I slipped on a pile of unmet expectations — the kind that anticipated success but couldn’t handle failure.

But one day grace broke my fall.

It happened when I fell faith forward.

My lean began in the midst of many losses. My husband’s great-aunt, who lived with us, passed away.  A few months later, my mother died unexpectedly. A few weeks later, my uncle followed her home to see Jesus.

Grief mixed with grace filled my days. Then fear barged in.  It intruded with its usual horrifying statistics, intimidating requirements or in this case, a frightening question:

What would life look like without those I loved?

Soon after, the recession hit and my husband lost his job. We almost lost everything.  Fear seized the moment. It moved from stifling my existence to dominating my days and lengthening my nights.

The more afraid I became, the more I forgot God’s promises.

The assurance of knowing “He’d never leave me or forsake me” felt like a distant reality.

The shelter of Him being my hiding place felt hidden from me.

My hope level dropped until I was frozen in fear. It was a slow thaw.

Amazingly, the warmth of God’s word melts my heart

and molds my victory at the same time.

As I continued to read the bible, spend time with faith-filled friends and glean from my pastor’s sermons, my spiritual memory rekindled.

I fell forward. On my knees.

I cried out for deliverance from the bullying thoughts of who or what I’d lose next. At first, I lived and loved tentatively.  However, fear doesn’t stop at making us hesitant. It tells any courage we have left to come out with its hands up.

But there’s a better surrender. It leads me into the fortress of trusting God. It’s the best place to be whether life deals me a blow or if fear is just barking.

Is there something or someone you’re afraid you’ll lose?  God took what threatened me and flattened it. Amazingly, He used the gift of His grace to put fear on the run.

In the depths of my dilemma, I was asked to teach at a prayer conference.  I wondered if God told the organizers about my fight with my phobias. My assigned topic: Overcoming fear.

I fell on my face. How could I teach what I didn’t live?  But that was His point all along. He was turning me into a fear fighter.

In her book, Fear Fighting, Kelly Balarie brings the battle against fear where it belongs — before the throne of grace.  She writes,

“We don’t have to know everything but just be willing to accept His everything. To let it settle right into the deep gashes of fear. Then, things change.” 

I experienced the wonder of God’s “everything” when I completed my prayer conference assignment during my fear-filled season. By His grace, the changes continue.

When the risks are high or loved ones are vulnerable, fear’s threats can seem real. But the wisdom of God’s word disarms any robber of our faith. This verse is this overcomer’s weapon:

“The Lord is my light and my salvation — so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?” Psalms 27:1 NLT

 

For more on Fear Fighting read Kelly Balarie’s book where she rallies us to “foster new courageous habits.”

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Thank you and may your fear fighting turn into faith victories!