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What Are You Feeding Your Friendships?

Posted in Encouragement, Growing A Friendship Series, Home Page, Lessons I've Learned (so far) Series, and Relationships

I cherish the friendships I’ve had through the years. However, some connections seem to fade over time. Other relationships deepen as we share life experiences because sharing is key to a friendship’s growth.

You may be familiar with the saying “something is alive if it grows, breathes and eats.” It’s a litmus test often used when exploring nature. But what if we applied the same criteria to our friendships?

I’ve discovered moments of transparency, common values, encouragement and prayer breathe life into a friendship bond.

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense. – Proverbs 27:9

But to continue to feed a friendship, it requires our time and attention. Proverbs 11:30 gives us a good place to start:

“The seeds of good deeds become a tree of life; a wise person wins friends.”

However, others “seeds” can do more damage than delight:

A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends. – Proverbs 16:8

As we gather with friends, it helps to remember our focus. What we feed a friendship strengthens or weakens the bond. 

Scripture mentions the words, “friend,” “friends” or “friendship” over 200 times. Maybe this explains why attending to friendship matters, helps me see how much my friends matter to God.

As the holidays approach, my friends and I plan to connect by meeting for coffee, having lengthy long-distance chats or coming together for dinner parties. I look forward to us sharing good deeds, some laughs and wisdom.

As you consider your friendships, are they growing or stagnant? What are some of your favorite ways to feed a friendship? I’d love to hear your ideas in the comment section.

All Scripture references are in the New Living Translation (NLT)

This post is part of my "Lessons I've Learned About Life (so far)" series for the #write31days challenge. To find out more start here.

14 Comments

  1. Linda Walters
    Linda Walters

    So timely, for me as I’ve been reflecting on friendships that have become stagnant. And some that I feel have been one-sided where I’ve been the farmer but not the harvester. I plan to share this with others to see what dialogue this inspires

    October 30, 2017
    |Reply
    • Joy
      Joy

      Hi Linda! God is always on time! I’m praying for you and your friends as you discuss the condition of your friendship. May God give clarity, peace and healing to you all. If you are led, please let me know how it turns out. 😊

      October 30, 2017
      |Reply
  2. Love the post! My friendships grew stagnant over the years. As I prayed regarding the change, God revealed that the connection was just seasonal. The natural fleshly reaction was to try to fix the bond cultivate the friendship. However, God continued to send and reveal red flags. So I submitted to his will and he brought new like minded believers into my life.

    October 30, 2017
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    • Joy
      Joy

      Thanks for sharing your experience with fading friendships! Yes, some friendships are definitely seasonal — where God teaches us a lesson, helps us through a process or both. Blessings to you and your new friendships!

      October 30, 2017
      |Reply
  3. I have moved quite a bit so friendships fall in and out of my life. Sometimes it’s hard to break into a community. God has been faithful to bring people into my life. I’ve learned over the years, I need to do some investing myself. Friendships do matter to God. He wants us to be around like-minded as well as people we can influence for Him.

    October 30, 2017
    |Reply
    • Joy
      Joy

      Well said Sheila! We’ve relocated several times due to my husband’s work and I can also attest to God’s faithfulness. I’m always amazed by what He does!

      October 30, 2017
      |Reply
  4. Truth about friendship, Joy. Transparency, common values, and encouragement DO breathe life into friendships. Thanks for this reminder! Blessings!

    November 1, 2017
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    • Joy
      Joy

      Hi Karen – I’m glad you enjoyed this post. Blessings to you too!

      November 1, 2017
      |Reply
  5. I enjoyed your post, Joy! I love your “seed” and “planting” analogies. You’re so right that we must “tend to” … and “feed” our friendships. I’m encouraged to be more intentional!

    November 1, 2017
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    • Joy
      Joy

      Thanks Dianne! I agree, intentionality is important as we seek to “feed” our friendships. Many blessings to you and your friends!

      November 1, 2017
      |Reply
  6. Becoming Kiona
    Becoming Kiona

    This is timely for me as well as I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships lately! Thanks for your thoughts about feeding our friendships!

    November 1, 2017
    |Reply
    • Joy
      Joy

      You’re welcome! Thanks for stopping by.
      😊

      November 1, 2017
      |Reply
  7. well said. I wrestle with friendships that seem to drift away… I miss them, thought our lives change and we can’t connect. So thankful for the friends that stay!

    November 1, 2017
    |Reply
    • Joy
      Joy

      Yes it can be difficult when a friendship shifts. I’m learning to examine the shift in light of God’s grace and continue to grow with those friends that remain.

      November 2, 2017
      |Reply

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