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Why Friendships Benefit from Boundaries

Posted in Decision-making, Lessons I've Learned (so far) Series, Relationships, and Self-care

My friends and I often speak about our need for greater focus. So when I asked one for help with a project, she said, “No.” As she explained her commitments, I knew she was at full capacity.

Normally, I’d be disappointed. But this time was different. I knew her “no” represented growth.

Because that’s what boundaries do — they draw a line to center us in God’s will and distance us from any distractions. Sometimes the lines are temporary to help us accomplish a goal. Other times, they are indelible strands weaving His will around our lives.

Those who know us best (or are getting to know us better) can help with this holy function.

I’ve learned setting boundaries with a friend is not to keep them out. It keeps us both in tune with God’s plans.

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.- Hebrews 10:25 (NLT)

As I motivate a friend to do good works, I don’t want to be the cause of a bad decision.

Of course, friends don’t agree on everything. But boundaries provide an opportunity for us to respect each other.

How have boundaries been a part of your friendships? Are they well-received or often misunderstood?

Thankfully, my friend and I have a mutual appreciation for God’s call — even if we’re looking from the other side of a boundary.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.- Psalm 16:6 NIV

This post is part of my "Lessons I've Learned About Life (so far)" series for the #write31days challenge. To find out more start here.


  1. I love your post. Well explained. I’m at a point in my Christian walk where I do have lots of boundaries with family and friends. I can’t say I have really explained anything to them. Because they would not even understand it. My husband and I, have since limited socializing ’cause at times, its just talking and eating. Then for some people they then want to make it a routine. Where it’s place to place, house to house.

    Thanks much for the reminder Joy.

    October 16, 2017
    • Joy

      I can see you are a believer in boundaries too. May God continue to guide us in our choices and the way we communicate our boundaries to others.
      P.S. I’m sorry for the delayed response. For some reason, your comment was delayed in my cue.

      October 23, 2017
  2. I think this is one of the most important lessons I learned in school. Boundaries are so necessary.

    October 17, 2017
    • Joy

      Hi Lo! Yes, boundaries are important in every relationship. The only person I need to say “yes” to all the time is God — still working on that one! 🙂

      October 17, 2017

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