Choose your companions wisely.
Grow confident in God’s love and commit to His plan.
Each statement appears on my wish list for my son. However, sometimes life’s challenges create boy-mama drama in my mind. That’s why I’m excited about Tyra Lane-Kingsland’s new book,
Purposeful Parenting – Allowing God to Change Your Heart So He Can Reach Theirs.
Heart reaching is God’s business. In her book, Tyra shares insights on how we can join Him as He works in children’s lives — from the cradle to college and beyond. I’m thrilled to have Tyra share the wisdom from its pages with us.
Joy: Tell us about your parenting journey. Whose heart has God entrusted to you?
Tyra: Well Joy, God seems to trust me quite a bit because He’s entrusted SIX souls into my care. I have six children ranging in age from 13 to one.
But my parenting journey began before having my own. My sister came to live with me when she was 15 years old so I count that as the start of my parenting journey.
In addition to my sister and caring for my own little flock, I’ve had an opportunity to coach countless parents through my role as Director of a Homemakers Ministry and as a facilitator of a parenting course I wrote. And all along this journey, the Holy Spirit has proven to be a teacher. While I had huge gaps in my childhood from lack of parenting, He has divinely taught me to parent.
Joy: Although your book has “parenting” in the title, how might non-parents who influence children benefit from this book?
Tyra: You’ve said it. This book isn’t just for parents. It is for any person who is an influencer in the life of a child.
We’ve heard the often used term “It Takes A Village” and the process of raising children has many key players. Grandparents, godparents, teachers and even neighbors can have a direct impact on children.
If we can reach into the heart of a child and leave a deposit of love in ways that the children can perceive and receive, I believe we could truly change our world for the better.
Joy: I love the subtitle: Allowing God to Change Your Heart So He Can Reach Theirs. In your experience, what’s the most common push back parents or mentors give to God’s grace?
Tyra: The most common pushback I find is not something said or done externally but rather an internal battle. I would venture to say every parent or mentor wants to have a positive impact on a child.
But the job of parenting is laced with many factors. One’s personal experiences being raised, shame, guilt, judgment, religious beliefs, cultural norms, family dynamics, then throw in children’s personalities and ages and stages of development and you’ve got a situation ripe for heart misunderstanding.
The key here is to offer our hearts to God so that we can surrender our own hurts, judgments, and beliefs. Doing so enables us to receive God’s grace so that we are then free to give children the love they need and deserve.
Joy: You mention the concept of adults who “know the way, go the way and show the way to children.” Tell us a little about each facet of this parent/child or mentor/mentee dynamic.
Know the way:
The adult KNOWS the path of truth. By revelation of the Holy Spirit and through life experiences, adults have acquired a great deal of knowledge and wisdom. This information, this KNOWing equips us to live successful lives.
Go the way:
Because adults KNOW, we should then GO the way, living and walking in the way of truth. Based on truth, we should live lifestyles worthy of imitation. This means you walk the talk.
Show the way:
Since we KNOW the way and GO the way, we equip children by SHOWing them the way. We SHOW them by modeling the behavior we expect, we are purposeful and diligent in instructing them and gently redirecting them when they get off course.
We see Jesus model this KNOW, GO, SHOW example in how He dealt with the disciples. Jesus knew the way. After all, He is the way, the truth and the life. He told His disciples, this is who I am and this is what I do. Then the disciples observed Him at work. They saw Him pray, heal, and deliver. They saw him extend love, compassion and grace. Then He provided opportunity for them to put His teaching into practice. Finally, He released them to do it on their own.
Joy: What’s the one thing you want readers to take away from the book’s message?
Tyra: The one thing I want readers to take away from this book’s message is that love triumphs. With a heart transformed, you are free to love without fear. So much of parenting is done from a place of fear; fear of what they’ll do and who they’ll become. But when we illuminate our hearts with love, fear is cast away and we are free to give them the love they need and deserve.
Thanks Tyra! For continued inspiration on nurturing the hearts of children, check out Tyra’s new book Purposeful Parenting. Available on Amazon.com!
Tyra Lane-Kingsland is no stranger to inspiring hearts. From tending the hearts of her husband and six children to her role as a Women’s Ministry Leader, speaker and blogger, Tyra has provided encouragement to countless people. She is the author of the breakthrough work, Purposeful Parenting. You can find her providing inspiration at www.inspiredtolivefully.com and on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.